


Lento

by joyseul



Series: Fascinating Rhythm [1]
Category: NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Coming of Age, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Mostly Gen, Mutual Pining, Not actually that much mutual pining yet but it will be, Shippy Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23966083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyseul/pseuds/joyseul
Summary: Chenle just moved to South Korea to accompany his mom. He ended up befriending his neighbors; brothers Jaemin and Jisung. He has a mild crush on one and an unexplained beef with the other.
Relationships: Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Zhong Chen Le, Na Jaemin & Zhong Chen Le, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: Fascinating Rhythm [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812682
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Lento

**Author's Note:**

> I intended to make this a series, but I was unfamiliar as I'm still new to AO3 so I made it a chaptered work... This bothers me so I'm gonna change this to a series and repost.. I'm sorry.

It was not Chenle’s idea of fun to move to South Korea. His mom found success in opening a branch of their family restaurant in Seoul, and so she needed to move and took care of everything herself. She didn’t trust anyone else to run it. Chenle, being her most precious and only kid, naturally was forced to move there with her. She promised that Chenle’s school would be an international school, that Chenle would finally be able to showcase his English skills that he had been proud of but had no outlet to use it properly. She promised Chenle wouldn’t be alone because his cousin who lived in Seoul, Renjun, went to that school too, although a grade above him. It was not really an option for Chenle, so he nodded and packed his whole life into two extra large luggages, bid goodbye to his friends, and stepped on the airplane.

It should be easy. It’s the start of the new school year and Chenle is just starting high school. The 10th graders haven’t started making cliques since they are all new. Plus, there will be many foreigners who are probably going through the same thing as he is, so Chenle is hopeful. He is an easygoing kid, he has no difficulty making friends. It’s just gonna be harder since it’s a whole new fucking language. 

So the summer before the first class, he goes to lessons, watches every Korean drama he can find, and works his darndest to learn Korean. It doesn’t hurt that his cousin comes to his house almost everyday to help him. At first, Chenle was suspicious because he is pretty sure his mom doesn’t pay Renjun, and that Renjun’s mom wouldn’t let his mom pay anyway.

“My best friend lives right next to your house, isn’t it crazy?” Renjun answers excitedly when Chenle asks. He goes on to tell Chenle about how sweet and gorgeous his best friend is, how he was the first person who came and talked to Renjun on his first day of middle school without hesitation, how they clicked right away and have been best friends ever since. He also told Chenle that his best friend has a cute younger brother who’s going to start high school at the same school as them, and that Chenle should meet him.

Reluctantly, Chenle lets Renjun drag him to the house next door. He is both excited at the prospect of new friends and nervous because he’s not confident about his Korean yet. He hopes the neighbors are understanding enough to talk to him in English.

Not a minute after Renjun pushes the doorbell and the door is already opened. They are greeted by a tall lanky boy. There is a cute pout on his face and his too-long-bangs are covering his pretty narrow eyes. His hair sticks out, unruly as if he just woke up. Renjun is not lying, his best friend is cute. Maybe Chenle’s heart skipped a beat, but no one has to know.

“Jisung, hi! Where’s Jaemin?” Upon Renjun’s question, the boy looks back and yells “hyung”. Chenle is surprised. This is not Renjun’s best friend? Oh.. does this mean this is the one who’s going to be in the same grade as Chenle? Holy shit. Does this mean his brother is even better looking? What a lucky family.

There’s a sound of running footsteps coming closer and closer towards the front door and Chenle’s heart thumps loudly, anticipating how the other brother looks like. A shorter boy with pink hair and big doe eyes is running towards them and jumps into Renjun’s embrace. He’s definitely pretty. Chenle just thinks Renjun is probably underselling the younger brother and overselling the older one. 

“Is this your cousin?” The pretty boy squeals and goes to hug Chenle immediately. Chenle awkwardly taps his back, not knowing what to do with the sudden intimacy. Renjun and him are not very touchy feely as far as he knows, at least to each other. This guy probably changed Renjun, he guesses. “I’m Jaemin, Renjun’s best friend.” He offers his hand as soon as he pulls back from the hug, and Chenle shakes it.

“Hi, my name is Chenle.” He answers awkwardly, Korean still doesn’t flow naturally from his tongue. Jaemin coos at how cute Chenle is, introduces him to the cute younger brother, then welcomes them into the house. 

Through his still lacking understanding of Korean, their occasional English, and Renjun’s translation, Chenle learns that the brothers live by themselves since their parents are continuously traveling to take care of their family business overseas. That is also why they go to international school despite being Koreans, so they can speak English fluently and take over their parents’ business and build connections with people from various countries. Chenle mostly nods and listens to them talking. The brothers are very friendly, always trying to include Chenle in their conversation despite Chenle’s disclaimer that they don’t have to do that. He’s pretty comfortable just listening to them talk and observing their faces anyway.

By the end of the day, they give Chenle their numbers, make a groupchat consisting of the four of them, and tell Chenle not to hesitate to text them anytime. When the brothers wave at them goodbye, he can’t help but steal glances at the tall boy. Jisung catches Chenle’s eyes and gives him a small genuine smile. Chenle skips home with two new friends and a warm heart.

*

It is unnecessary for Chenle to visit his neighbors every single day. However, learning Korean in his house alone, watching drama while waiting for his mom to come home is lonely. Grammar is the easiest part, but vocabulary is hard to learn without talking to other people. So he convinces himself that he needs to hang out with them everyday before school starts.

While Jaemin is out to play with his friends or boyfriend almost everyday, Jisung is mostly at home by himself. He’s told Chenle he doesn’t have many friends and he prefers to stay at home watching dramas or listening to his favorite music. He can’t help but wonder why Jisung, an easygoing and attractive young boy, doesn't have many friends, though. Is he an extreme introvert? If that is the case, then he’s probably not happy with Chenle hovering over him every day. Plus, Chenle is such an extrovert. Their energy shouldn’t match this well, but it does, at least that’s what Chenle thinks.

“Do you think I’m annoying?” Chenle asks curiously one afternoon. Jisung is fiddling with his guitar on his bed and Chenle is on the bedroom floor doing some exercise in his Korean textbook.

“Yes.” Jisung says. Chenle looks up from his book to find Jisung smirking, obviously joking around. Chenle hits his legs playfully. He forgets how sarcastic and mischievous Jisung can be. “Of course not. I enjoy your company.” He answers uncharacteristically fondly. “You’re like, my closest friend now.”

“Oohhh Park Jisung. You’re getting soft.” Chenle teases. He laughs loudly as he gets hit by a pillow. Jisung’s face turns pink when he tells Chenle to shut up. There’s a familiar warmth growing in Chenle’s chest. He tries to shrug it off.

“Hey, wanna watch some drama? I’m just starting Goblin.” Chenle suggests. His book is boring him to death. He’s sure Jisung is tired of practicing the same song on his guitar, too. So it’s not a surprise when Jisung immediately agrees and opens his laptop. Jisung scoots a little until his body is pressed on the wall and gestures to Chenle to climb and lays down on his stomach next to him.

When Jisung’s face reddens after Chenle scoots closer and their shoulders touch, Chenle has half a heart to tease him but he ends up pretending he doesn’t see it. The warmth in his chest has spread to his whole body that he can’t ignore it anymore.

He might have a little crush on Jisung.

*

It’s the first day of high school and Chenle is nervous. He has become close with Jisung and Jaemin, and they’ve been giving Chenle reassurance that they will be his friends at school. It doesn’t make him worry less about his first day of school in a whole other country, though. 

Jaemin offered him a ride but his mom insisted that she wanted to see Chenle to the school gate. So, Chenle offered the brothers to go to school with him. It’s going to feel less intimidating going through the entrance gate with other people. To Chenle’s delight, they agreed to it.

His mom bids them goodbye by the front gate, kissing him and the brothers in their foreheads. Chenle apologizes to them, but Jaemin doesn’t mind while Jisung just blushes. Not two steps inside the school and Jaemin is already crowded by his friends, girls and boys alike. Chenle is a little bit jealous. He used to be popular back in Shanghai, he enjoys the feeling of being among people. He swears to himself that he will try his best to make friends in this school.

Jisung ends up being in the same class as Chenle, and that’s such a huge relief for Chenle. What he doesn’t expect is that Jisung looks more relieved than he is. He finds out that the friendly neighbor Jisung who lives next door is completely different from his classmate Jisung. He looks jittery and he avoids eye contact with everyone else but Chenle —although he doesn’t mind being the center of Jisung’s attention, really. Is this why he doesn’t have many friends? Jisung is a shy boy?

During the orientation, the school offers various extracurricular activities, such as clubs and sports teams. Chenle is excited to join the basketball team, having played basketball all his life and Stephen Curry as his role model. He feels slightly disappointed when he finds out Jisung doesn’t play basketball and opts for the soccer team. However, he’s thrilled at the prospect of new friends.

The basketball team welcomes him with open arms, treating him like an old friend almost immediately. When Chenle says he’s not fluent in Korean yet and prefers to speak in Chinese or English, the captain, Mark, commands the team to speak English during practice so Chenle doesn’t feel alienated. He doesn’t expect this level of hospitality so soon, but he’s thankful for that.

The basketball team loves Chenle. They continue to bond through dinners after every practice. They praise him left and right, already planning to assign him as the first substitute for their first friendly game against a nearby high school. Although it’s not a serious game, he’s already anticipating it.

Unfortunately, everything has a trade. Turns out that Jisung has been looking forward to hanging out with Chenle since they only see each other in class and they have been busy with their own sport clubs. Chenle feels the same way, so he invites Jisung for dinner that night, and he agrees.

“I didn’t know you could cook! I have to tell Jaemin!” Jisung exclaims excitedly, hovering behind Chenle to look at his cooking. Chenle cooks stir fry veggies and his favorite instant noodle with tomato and chilli oil. It smells really good and Jisung swallows his saliva while rubbing his angry stomach, trying to calm the growling.

“It’s just ramyeon and pak choy.” He answers dismissively. Chenle blushes a little just because of the proximity of Jisung. His breath is hitting Chenle’s head, his body is pressing on Chenle’s back, and Chenle is conflicted whether he wants to run away or lean on the touch. It’s been a couple of weeks since they hung out and Chenle has forgotten how tall Jisung is and how deep his voice is. He’s completely forgotten his mild crush on his neighbor because of basketball, but when they’re together, it’s rather inevitable. Chenle curses inwardly. “Go sit or set the table or something. I’m almost done.”

They eat while chattering, telling each other about their own team. As usual, Chenle speaks more than Jisung. It’s dull and it shouldn’t be exciting, but Jisung keeps listening to his every word intently. Chenle keeps mentioning his captain, Mark, and co-captain, Felix, who have been very nice to him.

“Hey, you know Mark is Jaemin’s boyfriend, right?” Jisung interrupts Chenle’s rambling. He looks worried, like Chenle is going to fall in love with Mark.

“Oh? I didn’t know.” Chenle answers casually, like it doesn’t matter. Jisung seems like he has one more question, but he is quiet and there’s a weird tension in the air. Chenle decides to ignore it. “Wanna watch some drama?” He asks, and Jisung nods. They wash the dirty dishes then go to the living room. He feels like something isn’t right, but he shakes the feelings away and drags Jisung to sit next to him on the big couch.

He’s been tired lately so it doesn’t take long for Chenle to doze off as soon as the drama starts. His head slowly falls to Jisung’s shoulder, and settles there. It’s comfortable. He slips his arm and links it with Jisung, hugging Jisung’s arm like it’s a pillow. There is no resistance and he feels the tension in the air slowly dissipates. They’re back to being comfortable.. neighbors? Classmates? Chenle prefers best friends.

*

Chenle eventually ends up becoming more than close to the co-captain. They have many similarities. Aside from basketball, they talk a lot about music, how they both struggle with Korean, and food. Chenle thinks talking to Felix is easy; they never run out of things to talk about. Some nights, they eat tteokbokki without the team, and Felix drives Chenle home and texts him good night after that. 

Then, Felix starts to text him every night even though they don’t eat dinner together.

And every morning.

Chenle doesn’t know how to feel about that.

He has developed a small crush on Jisung since the first day they met. It goes nowhere since they treat each other like best friends; not that they aren’t. But Felix has been treating him like he’s special. He doesn’t know if Felix texts other people, but he definitely only drives Chenle home from basketball practice, and no one else from the team. So, when Felix asks him to go on a dinner date that Saturday, he doesn’t have any reason to say no.

They are entering the cafe hand in hand —Felix offered his hand to help Chenle get out of the car and never let go, Chenle didn’t know why he also didn’t let go, though. The thought of him being on his first date (is this a date?) makes him nervous a little bit, but not as nervous as when he spots a familiar pink head. His heart sinks for no reason. When Felix drags him to that exact table, the table that Chenle wants to avoid the most, he finds a reason to actually be nervous now. 

It turns out to be a double date with Mark and Jaemin and Chenle wants the earth to swallow him whole.

Jaemin definitely looks surprised, especially because Jaemin immediately notices their hands. Chenle retracts his hand off of Felix’s, out of reflex. “Oh, hi Jaemin!” He waves with the same hand awkwardly, just to avoid hurting Felix’s feelings. 

“You know each other?” Mark looks at Chenle and Jaemin back and forth with a pleasantly surprised expression.

“Chenle is my next door neighbor, actually. And Renjun’s cousin.” Jaemin answers uncharacteristically coolly. He smiles, but it never reaches his eyes. Chenle gets chills in his spine. Jaemin is bubbly and bright, he’s never like this even once since they met for the first time. He feels like he did something wrong, like he needs to apologize to Jaemin for whatever reason. 

The whole dinner goes awkwardly. When Jaemin orders soup and spells it s-o-a-p, Chenle corrects it and tells him that it’s supposed to be s-o-u-p. Mark and Felix laugh but Jaemin glares at him, like he just murdered his dog or something. Chenle tries to be cheerful to compensate for the heavy tension in the air, continuously making light jokes left and right. However, Jaemin continues to be withdrawn and unwelcoming, the complete opposite of the Jaemin he knows. Even on the first day they met, he acted like Chenle was his own brother. Is it really because Chenle corrected his spelling? But Jaemin was already distant before that, so that shouldn’t be it.

The night has been weird, so they end it early. Felix makes it up by taking Chenle for ice cream after dinner, just the two of them. Chenle feels bad because he hasn’t spent a single penny during the night, so he takes out his wallet but Felix is quick to push Chenle away from the cashier. “Please, as an apology for dinner.” He begs gently. Chenle can’t see his own face but he feels that it has turned at least pink, if not crimson red. Felix’s deep voice and gentle push and sweet gesture and _blinding smile_ are too much to handle. If Chenle didn’t have any feelings for him, he surely has developed one now. He’s never been treated like that by a boy before, and it feels good. He feels special and loved.

During the car ride home, they keep stealing glances at each other, and Chenle can’t help but think of scenarios and possibilities. For some reason, he’s anticipating something, anything. His stomach is filled with butterflies, his heart thumping loudly on his chest.

They arrive in front of Chenle’s gate, but Chenle’s legs are concrete and he can’t seem to move them. “Well, I’m here.” Chenle murmurs quietly, seemingly not eager to exit Felix’s car. If Felix wasn’t so nervous himself, he would’ve noticed.

Felix doesn’t say anything, so Chenle goes to open the door when Felix suddenly grabs his arm gently. “Do you want to go out with me?” He says in the most soothing voice Chenle has ever heard. Definitely deeper than Jisung’s.

It’s not like he can say no.

So Chenle nods and smiles. “Yes.” He answers, his voice only slightly above a whisper. There’s a pause. Chenle doesn’t know if there will be more or if he should leave right at this moment. What is the protocol for dating? It’s Chenle’s first time being courted.

Then, Felix’s face approaches him and he can hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears. The gap between their noses becomes smaller and smaller and Chenle shuts his eyes tightly. Maybe he sees Chenle’s scrunched face out of panic, so Felix opts to turn to Chenle’s cheek and kiss it. “Good night, Chenle.” He whispers.

*

“Can you tell me what I did wrong? Jaemin seems like he hates me.” Chenle starts the Monday by complaining to Jisung about his brother.

Jisung chuckles. “And a good morning to you, too, Chenle.” Jisung chuckles. “Hmm.. He seems fine this morning. What did he do to you?”

“He glared at me the whole time during our accidental double dat-” Chenle gasps. He completely forgot to tell Jisung about his _Thing_ with Felix. He swears he thought of texting Jisung last Saturday. He must have fallen asleep while facetiming with Felix. “Ugh.. I forgot to tell you but..” Chenle feels his face heating up, he looks down at his table. “I’m kinda.. sorta.. Dating Felix now.” He tries to find resolve in his heart and looks up at Jisung’s face.

Jisung’s expression is unreadable for a minute. But then, he smiles. “Oh, congrats!” Jisung’s voice is cheerful but it doesn’t seem genuine at all. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes either. It’s unsettling. “What does that have to do with Jaemin hating you, though?” He asks, his voice is back to normal. It’s quite scary how Jisung can change his tones in mere seconds, Chenle thinks.

“Ugh.. As I was saying. We had an accidental double date and the whole time he was glaring at me, not even a smile was directed at me. I didn’t know Jaemin was capable of that. Broke my heart a little bit, to be honest..” Chenle confesses.

At his explanation, Jisung’s eyes widen as if he’s found the answer. But then, he sits on his desk next to Chenle and browses through his backpack for his textbooks. “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.” He answers nonchalantly, but Chenle notices his ears reddening. _What is going on?_

Chenle just murmurs an “okay, then” and takes his textbooks out of his bag. Nothing about this sets right with him, but he can’t let that get to him. He’s CEO of positive vibes only. He will get through this. “Wanna come eat in my mom’s restaurant after school? I would ask Jaemin too but I’d rather not if he’s just gonna glare at me.”

Jisung hesitates. Is it because Jaemin? Felix? Chenle doesn’t know. But he really misses hanging out with Jisung. “Come on. My treat. I miss you.” He pleads, pouts, anything to make Jisung’s heart soften. _It’s working_ , he thinks as he sees Jisung’s eyes getting softer and his smile looking genuine.

“Fine. Clingy.” Jisung teases him, although he’s the one with pink cheeks. Chenle thinks it’s cute. Jisung is cute.

He caught Jisung stealing glances at him throughout the day. Sometimes it’s tender, sometimes it’s a longing gaze. Chenle’s chest tightens for some reason. He tries to concentrate on the lecture, but he can’t help but feel the weight of Jisung’s gaze on his shoulder. His stomach churns. 

When they eat dinner at his mom’s restaurant that night, their conversations are easy. Chenle doesn’t mention Felix even once, and Jisung is all smiles. Every once in a while, he finds the same sad stare that he saw at class. He makes it up by knocking his knees with Jisung’s from time to time. That seems to cheer Jisung up every time.

Chenle shakes off the bizarre feeling in his heart that night and goes to sleep listening to Felix’s voice.

*

Dating Felix has been a breeze. It’s not like he doesn’t have money, but he hasn’t been spending a penny on food and transportation. He gets picked up every morning, gets free lunch, then Felix dropped him home every night. Every night, he’s lulled to sleep listening to Felix’s voice. Sometimes, he serenades Chenle with love songs, and it feels pretty fucking amazing. Everyday feels like spring. Even if it’s a cold day, Felix is quick to warm Chenle with his hands, his hugs. He feels like a princess, truly.

But every single time Felix attempts to kiss Chenle, he can’t help but seeing Jisung’s face, and Chenle looks away. It’s ridiculous. He hasn’t been hanging out a lot with Jisung, he doesn’t even think that he thinks of Jisung most of the time. But why does he always pop up every time he’s about to have his first kiss?

He feels terrible for Felix, he truly does. Felix has done nothing but pampering Chenle to the absolute. It’s been almost three months and they haven’t gone over cheek kisses. Chenle barely agreed to cuddle with him. He feels weird laying in bed with another person. It’s suffocating and he doesn’t really like skinship. That’s the excuse he tells himself, even though he knows he does that with Jisung a lot.

He has tried his best to like Felix, to love him, but his heart won’t cooperate. 

So that night, he invited himself to hang out with Jisung. It’s been too long, anyway, and he misses Jisung a lot, albeit sitting next to him everyday at school.

“Have you learned a new song lately?” Chenle sits cross-legged on Jisung’s bed. Jisung gets his guitar immediately and tries to set it up. He looks up and thinks hard. Chenle tries not to squeal. He’s really been missing out on staring at Jisung’s cute serious face, hasn’t he?

Slowly, Jisung finds a chord and plays a song. He starts singing, and Chenle feels like his heart has stopped beating. _“I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you..”_

Chenle has forgotten how deep Jisung’s voice is. It’s not as deep as Felix’s, but it’s breathtaking, figuratively and literally. It’s sweet and thick like honey, dripping into Chenle’s ears in the most delightful way.

_“Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you..”_

Chenle can’t help but observing Jisung’s long fingers delicately curling over the strings. Jisung’s lips are plump, they make small wet sounds when they meet each other while he’s singing. Jisung’s eyes are focused on the strings, trying to concentrate so he can sing and play the guitar at the same time, then they start to close as he embodies the song with his whole heart.

_“I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down. I want to come too..”_

Chenle doesn’t realize he has leaned closer and closer to Jisung’s face. Jisung definitely feels it and looks up from his guitar. Their eyes met.

With his face just five centimetres away from Jisung’s, Chenle wonders why he doesn’t see Felix’s face. All he can see is Jisung’s beautiful eyes. Widened. Staring straight at him.

“Chenle?” Jisung whispers.

That takes Chenle out of his trance. “Oh, shit. Yeah, there’s something on your cheek.” He puts his thumb over Jisung’s perfectly clean cheek and stands up. “I need to go to the toilet.” He excuses himself, trying not to run out of Jisung’s bedroom.

Once he closes Jisung’s bedroom door, he power walks to the front door. And once he closes the front door, he runs straight home. He texts Jisung, lying about having stomach problems that cause him to leave for home right away. If Jisung is suspicious, he doesn’t show it. He wishes Chenle to have a speedy recovery. He goes to text Felix the same thing, that he can’t facetime him to bed due to his imaginary sickness.

That night, Chenle lies on his bed, unable to sleep. His mind races, his heart thumps so hard he feels his chest is going to burst. He’s thinking of what just happened, why it happened, and what it means to him. 

He closes his eyes and he sees Jisung’s face.

He’s screwed.

*

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

It’s cliché, Chenle thinks, but it’s the truth. He can’t find it in himself to string Felix around any longer. Felix deserves better than Chenle, better than a boy who can’t kiss him, who can’t stop thinking about another boy when he’s about to be kissed.

So he found strength in himself that afternoon to meet Felix in the park behind the school. He wanted to do it in the morning so he can feel lighter, but he knew that would be selfish of him. He couldn’t bear the thought of Felix having to go through a day that has been ruined since the start. 

Felix smiles sourly. Chenle is the one breaking up with him, but his heart also shatters into pieces. He doesn’t enjoy seeing Felix hurting, his eyes glassy and his shoulders visibly shake.

He wants to hug Felix so much. It’s ironic. He usually avoided it when they were dating but now that they are over, Chenle has the urge to touch him, to make him feel better.

He eventually does. He pulls Felix into his embrace, physically trying to stop the boy from shaking, as if it will unbreak his heart. Felix sobs quietly on his shoulder while he rubs Felix’s back gently.

“Am I not cute enough?” Felix asks jokingly after they pull away from each other, his hand wiping the tears on his cheeks. Chenle almost reaches his face and wipes it himself, but he knows he can’t do that. “Am I too clingy?” He offers another explanation.

It sucks. Felix doesn’t even know the reason Chenle is breaking up with him. He doesn’t want to give him the reason either, it will hurt too much. “I said it wasn’t you, Felix. You’re perfect.” He answers truthfully. It’s true. Felix is a perfect boyfriend.

“Just not for you.” Felix laughs bitterly. Chenle has nothing to say to that. They sit in silence on the bench for a good minute. Then Felix lets out a long sigh, stands up, and opens his arms. “One last hug?”

Chenle stands up and hugs him, rubbing and patting his back out of guilt. “Don’t be dramatic. We still meet during practice.” He jokes lightly, not completely sure if it’s too soon but he just wants to get rid of the awkwardness. Felix chuckles and that alone makes him feel better. They are still friends.

“Yeah. See you, Chenle.” 

He watches Felix’s back as he walks away from him. Unconsciously, a tear falls from his eye too. 

Naturally, he doesn’t have a ride home that day. He takes the bus and walks home from the nearest bus stop. His mind wanders, eyes not paying attention to anything. He feels empty somehow, although he knows it’s the best decision to make. 

He accidentally bumps into someone. He says sorry and continues walking but he feels a hand gripping his arm harshly.

“Aren’t you gonna apologize nicely?” A foreign voice snaps him out of it. There are three people he’s not familiar with, wearing a uniform he’s never seen before. They don’t look particularly scary, but they are all slightly taller than him and they’re crowding around him.

Great, he thought this day couldn’t be any worse. Now he has to get beaten by local high school bullies. 

He just stands there in silence. Too tired to defend for himself. He also thinks maybe he deserves a punch or two for breaking the heart of the nicest boy in the world.

“Say something, you little shit!” The one that he bumped into yells at him while grabbing the collar of his shirt.

He usually thinks romantic movies are bullshit. There’s no way that everything is timed so perfectly. But when he closes his eyes, waiting for a fist on his face, he hears the sound of a bell ringing continuously and a recognizable raspy voice screaming, “Hey, hands off you punks!”

It’s Jaemin. Well, romantic movies are still bullshit. It doesn’t cancel out the fact that Chenle _is_ a damsel in distress, though. This is pretty close to it.

The bullies look at Jaemin’s face and, to Chenle’s surprise, they immediately scramble and hurriedly walk away from Chenle. _Huh. Jaemin has this much power?_

“I’ll tell your moms about this!” His hoarse voice cracks, then he coughs. Yeah, that’s Jaemin for you. So much for a prince charming. “Don’t worry, I know their moms. We share recipes a lot. They _will_ be grounded.” Jaemin explains proudly to Chenle’s confused face.

Jaemin quickly noticed that Chenle is not feeling well. Plus, he’s walking, so it must be an unusual day. “Where’s Felix?” He asks nonchalantly, pretending like he doesn’t care. But Chenle notices that he isn’t cold and unwelcoming like he has been with Chenle the last few months.

He considers if he should tell the truth, it’s not like he’s obligated to tell Jaemin about his _love life._ But he sees this as an opportunity to reconcile, to be friends with Jaemin again. So he does.

“We broke up today.” He answers solemnly, eyes training on Jaemin’s bicycle’s front wheel. His hands are fidgeting with the edge of his shirt, anticipating how Jaemin will react to that.

Jaemin gasps. “He dumped you? He doesn’t seem the type.” Chenle snorts at that, and realization dawns on Jaemin. “You dumped him??” His eyes widened in shock.

“Is me dumping a guy such a foreign idea to you?” Chenle retorts bitterly. 

“Ugh. No, sorry.” Jaemin looks guilty, at least, so Chenle forgives him. “You guys looked so in love, though.” He comments casually.

He knows it’s not Jaemin’s intention but it kinda hits Chenle in the right places. Of course they looked like they were in love. Chenle can’t help but smile at how gentle Felix was treating him and Felix was actually probably in love with Chenle.

Seeing Chenle’s brows furrowed, Jaemin takes a hint and stops asking questions. “Let’s go. I’ll give you a ride today.” He motions to get Chenle to hop on his single user bicycle.

“Um. No? It’s dangerous to balance myself there. I can walk home.” He denies. But Jaemin won’t move.

“Come on. Just hold onto my shoulders. Or you can sit in the front like a princess if you’re that scared.” Chenle laughs. There’s really no rejecting this guy. “I have ice cream at home. Hop on, big head.”

Chenle sighs and positions himself behind Jaemin, his hands gripping on Jaemin’s shoulder tightly. “My head is not that big!” He protests. But Jaemin starts riding quickly and Chenle starts screaming in the highest pitch possible. Jaemin starts laughing maniacally. Hearing Jaemin’s laugh, Chenle can’t help but forget his fears and start laughing too. Their voices combined have earned stares and shushes from passersby, but they can’t care less.

Maybe this is what he needs. A friend. Romance is not what it was hyped to be. It is complicated and it doesn’t make him feel good. Getting force fed a whole tub of ice cream by the most annoying cheerful boy he can call a friend is the best thing that has happened in his life lately. It’s as if a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. 

Right there in Jaemin’s kitchen, when Jaemin is scolding him for being messy and wiping ice cream off of his chin, he decides he’s going to be single for a while. His first break up hits him so hard, he doesn’t feel like going through another one for now. 

They are laughing about nothing and everything when Jisung enters the house, clearly tired after soccer practice. He immediately notices them. A puzzled expression replaces the tired one. “What, you guys are friends again now?” He blurts out, unable to beat around the bush.

Both Jaemin and Chenle stop laughing and look at him as if Jisung has asked the dumbest question in the world. “Duh.” Jaemin replies, a silly grin plastered on his face.

Deciding prying on the little demons is not worth his time, Jisung joins them for ice cream on the kitchen table. He looks at Chenle, trying to find some semblance of an answer, but Chenle just shrugs with a smile on his face. A genuine, blissful one. 

Chenle decides to stay after dinner, texting his mom that he will have a sleepover at Jisung’s. He changes into Jaemin’s pajamas —Jisung’s is too big for him— and lays on the bed, the side near the wall. Jisung is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at Chenle with a confused face. “So. What’s the story?” He pries, still curious about his brother making up with his best friend.

Instead of giving him an answer, Chenle beckons to Jisung, and Jisung complies. The mood shifts and suddenly there seems like a dark cloud looming over them. Chenle scoots closer and buries his face in Jisung’s shoulder, obviously trying to avoid looking into Jisung’s eyes. “I broke up with Felix today.” He mumbles. Jisung notices that his voice is a little bit shaky even when it’s muffled through his pajama. Jisung’s hand finds Chenle’s back and starts patting it awkwardly, like he never consoles anyone before. “Then I almost got beat up by some neighborhood kids and Jaemin saved me from them.” He chuckles. 

“Are you okay?” Jisung murmurs, his voice fragile like he’s helping Chenle bear his pain. 

Chenle doesn’t know how to answer that. He is mostly relieved, but he can’t say he isn’t a little bit traumatized from seeing how hurt he made Felix feel. So he says exactly what he feels, “I don’t know. I hate relationships.” He laughs bitterly. 

If Chenle ever doubted if Jisung was the best friend he could ever have, the doubt is gone when Jisung stops asking and just pulls Chenle even closer to him. He keeps rubbing Chenle’s back gently, lulling Chenle to sleep.

On his half asleep state, feeling Jisung hums some lullaby Chenle doesn’t know, he whispers, “Thanks. You’re my best friend.”

“And you’re mine,” is the last thing Chenle hears before he falls into a deep, peaceful slumber that night.

*

They fall to their old routine again. Chenle carpools with the brothers and Jaemin bickers with Chenle about every little thing. Jisung just laughs and helps Chenle tease Jaemin too sometimes. It’s comfortable.

Later that day, when Chenle’s waiting for Jaemin at the front gate, Jaemin texts him to go home alone. He has something after school and Jisung has soccer practice. So when Chenle spots Jaemin’s car in front of their house, he can’t help but find it bizarre. Did Jaemin lie about having some business after school? Why is it parked outside and not in the garage? Cautiously, he approaches the car.

He looks inside and finds Jaemin sitting in the driver’s seat. He was planning to scold Jaemin for not giving him a car ride home, but Jaemin looks distressed. He knocks the window of the passenger seat carefully to make Jaemin aware of his presence. 

Jaemin looks at him through the window and gestures him to come in. It’s weird, Jaemin could’ve just exited his car, but Chenle complies. He notices Jaemin looking miserable and his mouth is quicker than his brain. “You look like shit.” It slips right out of his mouth and Jaemin’s sour expression makes him feel guilty. “Sorry. Um. What happened?” He apologizes, trying to make sure Jaemin knows he cares for him. Because he does, as much as he will deny it if someone asks.

Jaemin just exhales loudly and puts his face on the steering wheel. “I broke up with Mark.” He answers quietly. His voice is deeper and hoarser than usual. He’s probably been crying in the car, now that Chenle thinks about it. Chenle is scared he will say something wrong again, so he keeps silent, waiting for Jaemin to say more. “It’s Jungwoo.” He whispers.

Chenle vividly remembers how Jungwoo came by to practice sometimes, waiting for the practice to end so they could go to their wine and cheese class together. Chenle once asked why Jaemin didn't have the class with them, since Jungwoo was Jaemin’s best friend and Mark was his boyfriend. They laughed and told Chenle that Jaemin didn’t enjoy both alcohol and dairy, and that Jaemin was the one who recommended Jungwoo to Mark in the first place.

His boyfriend cheated on him with his best friend. That must’ve hurt.

“It’s not like that. They didn’t cheat or anything.” Jaemin continues his story, as if he can hear what’s on Chenle’s mind. “I’ve known how perfect they are for each other, you know. I can’t help but hold on to Mark anyway. I figured, Mark is too nice, he won’t break up with me. I told myself I would just hold on to it unless he was the one who ended things.” Then, he laughs bitterly. “And he won’t, you know? He just fucking wouldn’t and every time I talked to him and mentioned Jungwoo his eyes turned into those sad puss-in-boots eyes and he would just look away and change the topics and I’m sick of it.” He rambles, his tone gets higher and his voice gets angrier, seemingly at himself. Chenle has never seen Jaemin like this. “I’m sick of myself.” He exhales. “So I broke up with him. Funny, isn’t it? I can't even keep my own promise to myself. And Mark has the guts to be the one crying so I pretended I was strong and consoled him.” 

Tears start to fall out of Jaemin’s eyes and Chenle can’t help but reaching over and holds Jaemin’s hand. It’s not the same but he knows how terrible it feels looking at the person you like hurting because of you. His thumb rubs on Jaemin’s knuckles and Jaemin starts to calm down. Jaemin looks at him with a weak smile and he throws him the same one. 

“Damn, those best friends must hate us by now, right? We went on a double date with them and now we dumped them.” Chenle offers Jaemin a stupid joke to lighten the mood and Jaemin immediately laughs, snot coming out of his nose. 

The mood has brightened and Jaemin starts to wipe his tears and snot off of his face. “You might be stupid, but you’re a really good person, Chenle.” Jaemin squeezes his hands and the way he says that is too sincere for Chenle to handle. Jaemin and him have never talked about anything seriously. So, while Chenle appreciates the compliment, he can’t help but cringe a little bit.

“Thanks, but you’re not my type.” Jaemin slaps his hands playfully and they share a laugh.

“You’re so annoying, I swear, if Jisung didn’t love you so much I would’ve kicked your ass.” Jaemin immediately gasps as he finishes his sentence.

_What?_

“What?” Chenle lets out a high pitched yelp, piercing through Jaemin’s ears. They look at each other and don’t move for a good minute until Jaemin is sure Chenle won’t yell again so he can finally remove his hands from closing his earlobes.

“ _What_ what?” Jaemin finally decides to be nonchalant about it, like Chenle is not staring at him with wide eyes, expecting an explanation. “I said what I said. I know you’re not fucking dense.” He confronts Chenle, refusing to elaborate.

Suddenly, everything makes sense. It makes sense how Jaemin immediately turned cold to him when he came into the restaurant, holding Felix's hand. It makes sense how Jisung's smile didn't reach his eyes the day Chenle told him he was dating Felix. Chenle remains speechless for who knows how long. His head feels both empty and full of thoughts at the same time, if that's even possible. He doesn’t even notice Jaemin getting out of the car and opening the passenger’s door until he’s yanked out of the car.

Jisung loves him. Jisung _loves_ him. JISUNG LOVES HIM??

He is being dragged into Jaemin’s house but Chenle stops him, removing his arm from Jaemin’s grip. “You.. What you said.. I.. I need to go home.” He can’t form a proper sentence. Great. Jaemin’s going to tease him even more now.

“You’re not even going to eat ice cream with me after _my_ break up? After everything I’ve done for you?” Jaemin pouts in the most Jaemin way that Chenle doesn't have the heart to reject it.

He sighs. “Fine. But I’m going home as soon as we finish eating it. I don’t want to see..” Chenle can’t even say his name, it’s ridiculous. 

Unexpectedly, Jaemin is being understanding and agrees to it. He probably feels guilty for spilling out his brother’s secret, to Chenle of all people. When they reach the kitchen, Chenle quickly eats his ice cream and force feeds Jaemin’s —as a revenge for the last time— and dashes out of the house as soon as he’s done.

When he’s opening the gate to his own house, he hears the voice that he loves to hear the most calling his name. If it was yesterday, Chenle would be ecstatic and immediately skipped all the way to Jisung's bedroom. But not today, though. Especially not today. “I have a lot of homework, sorry! I’ll text you!” He manages to make up excuses and power walks to his door. He figures running will be a little too much and suspicious. He doesn't even look back. He can't afford looking into Jisung's eyes.

He goes straight to his room, his uniform still intact, and stares at the ceiling for hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially wanted to write something light and short but this quarantine got me spiraling and I ended up having Too Many Thoughts. I love chenji with all my heart so I hope you enjoy this. As usual I'll probably edit some mistakes later.

**Author's Note:**

> I initially wanted to write something light and short but this quarantine got me spiraling and I ended up having Too Many Thoughts. I love chenji with all my heart so I hope you enjoy this. As usual I'll probably edit some mistakes later.


End file.
